To my boys.....

Dear Big Brother and Little Brother,

I remember this day, two years ago, so clearly.  Like I've told you a million times....
Papa, Tator and I decided we wanted more children.  So we prayed for God to bring us the right ones.  The ones He picked out for our family.  We spend months talking and dreaming about what you would be like.  How old you would be, what color your hair or eyes would be. 
Two years ago, Papa and I took today off work.  We met a friend from church to pick up little boy toys and some clothes.  We spent the day getting ready for you.  Just like the months before Tator was born, we cleaned and made beds and washed toys.  This was all in preparation for you!
We picked up Tator from school a little early so she could watch for you with us.  We went in your room and prayed over both beds.  We prayed and thanked God for you and asked God to help us be everything you needed and to help us show you His love.
Then we went to the living room windows and peered through the blinds.  I am sure if the neighbors saw us, they thought we were crazy.  But we didn't care.  We watched and watched.  Finally, Mrs. N's car pulled in the driveway.
I don't have any memories of your first steps, or how you looked the day you were born.  But I will always remember you stepping out of that car.  Each of you had a little plastic bag in your hands that held all your earthly possessions.  BB got out with a heavy winter coat on, even though is was a hot September day.  I remember thinking that you both looked so small.
I don't have any memories of your very first words.  I don't know if they were 'mama' or maybe 'dada'. But the first words you said to me were 'hi' and then BB asked if he could take a bath.  Tator was so excited to show you to your room.
I don't have any memories of you looking up at me while feeding, or those first glances in the hospital room.  But I do remember how big and curious your eyes were on this day.  LB's eyes darted from thing to thing, toy to toy, room to room.  BB was more cautious, and took us in with wise eyes.  You seemed to study our faces and our movements so carefully. I remember how Tator giggled chasing you both from activity to activity.
We didn't know that day if we were going to be able to keep you forever, or just a short time.  But in those first little moments, you became 'my boys', my sons.  Whether you left the next day, or months from then, or never....two years ago today, you became mine and I became yours.
Happy 2 year anniversary boys :) Mommy loves you!

(I have not forgotten Little Sister :) Her day is October 1st.)