Have you ever had one of those days.........

Have you ever had one of those days when you can feel THE ENEMY hurling things at you like an opponent in a cosmic spiritual game of doge ball??  Yesterday was one of those days.

It started as any other day.  Everyone up, everyone feed, everyone dressed, everyone headed off to school.  Around lunch time, I received a text from our county case manager (F) that court, which we were told was canceled, actually happened and the judge ordered that bio dad gets to see his children before he goes back to OH where they are from.  He was headed back yesterday evening.  So, we had our first experience with a bio family visit without any warning or any time to prepare.
Unfortunately, N (our private agency case manager) was already transporting other children and could not transport ours or supervise their visit. F was three hours away out of town, so she could not transport or supervise their visit.  The answer was to have a stranger (a different DFCS worker) come and pick up the kids and transport them to the visit.  RRRRRRRKKKKKKK! (That's the sound of brakes screeching to a hault.)
I'm sorry, call me a Foster Mama Bear, but who thinks it would be beneficial to have a stranger pick up these children from school (a safe place for them) and transport them to a strange place to meet with a man that abandoned them a month ago without any warning?? Anyone??  Show of hands??  No one?? That's what I thought! Well, it did not sit well with me.  Papa took off work and picked the kiddos up and transported them to the meeting,  (Ball #1 - dodged)
The meeting went well. Papa stayed outside and a DFCS worker supervised the visit.  However, when the visit was over, LB and LS came back to Papa no problem. BB wanted to stay with bio dad and let it known.  That is emotionally very hard.  We love these kids, and pour our hearts and time into them and when push comes to shove....I believe they would choose their bio parents every time. (Ball #2 - dodged...but barely)
At the meeting, Papa was told the boys talked to dad about how they are learning to make good choices and they were good boys, they just sometimes make bad choices. (Yeah!!!) While the brothers were sharing such good things, bio dad was feeding them pizza, candy, chips, and Mountain Dew. Once safely back in the family minivan, Papa put on some calm music and all three kiddos passed out.  (Ball #3 - you could hear the ball whiz by your ear...a little toooo close....but dodged)  
All three took a nice nap in the van, however, when they woke up.....there were a lot of emotions.  BB and LS cried a lot about very little things....sun in their eyes, shoes not feeling right, thirsty, hungry, etc.  LB just wanted to talk about everything.  So many 'why' questions and more stories about the old home life similar to when they first came to us.  Lots of patience, and more calm music and BB and LS fell back asleep, LB continued to ask questions.  (Ball #4 - dodged easily)
On top of all this, we have our first training weekend at church for others who want to become foster parents.  At the setup, the brothers were running around like chickens with their heads cut off.  They were being demanding, not using kind words and melting down into tantrums at a moments notice.  Very similar to when they first came to us.  60 minutes with bio dad took a months worth of work, and flushed it down the toilet.  LS was very clingy and broke down into a HUGE meltdown when she thought I was leaving her.  At this point Papa and I are exhausted, worn out, and heart broken at the hurt these kiddos have to endure.  Feeling very discouraged that we are going to have to start all over.  (Ball #5 - is headed straight at your face....you are frozen.) However, when I go to pick LS up, she snuggles into me and squeezes hard.  She feels safe with me, she views me as 'mama'. I get a text from Papa (who took the brothers home) that said once they were back home, changed clothes, washed faces, that they kind of 'snapped out of it' and were back to playing nicely and using kind words. (At the last minute, you drop to the floor avoiding Ball #5 - dodged.) It looks like we won't have to start all over.
So, Papa and the brothers are at home and Tater, LS and I are at church to help with the training.  A quick run to Burger King for dinner serves up the last straw.......A large amount of chicken nuggets and apples for the girls, and a Big Diet Coke and onion rings for the Mama :)  We get back to church and the lid isn't on my Diet Coke tight and as I pick it up, it slips and starts to fall.  Having lightening quick reflexes, I catch it...careful not to spill any, and expertly re-attach the lid. (Ball #6 - DODGED!!!)
SATAN.....READ THE END OF THE BOOK! YOU DO NOT WIN!!!
I heard a Sermon once that talked about how much Satan did not want the cross to happen.  He didn't want Jesus to die on the cross.  Why is that?  Jesus suffered on the cross, you would think that Satan enjoys when we suffer.  However, Jesus' suffering was purely un-selfish.  His suffering meant the possibility for our freedom.  We don't have to wait for the end....our destiny and the end of our story was already decided on the cross. Satan does not win, He will not rule over my emotions, actions, or feelings.  I belong to Jesus.
This game of dodge ball is OVER!

Fostering is not half bad if you didn't have to deal with adults.......

Those of you who also follow me on Facebook, will know we had an AMAZING day at the Pumpkin Patch and Apple Orchard yesterday.

We explored and and ran through the super huge pumpkins, picked out our pumpkins for decorating, and took LOTS of fun pictures.  Then we went to the apple orchard and let the kiddos run through the rows of trees and pick apples, talk to goats, and checked out the chickens.  There were smiles and giggles all day long!! It was such a blessing to have a happy day with the kiddos.  No tears, no fits, everyone was happy! (That is rare with our four!)

With yesterday full of encouragement, today was a slap in the face.  Papa and I were anxiously looking forward to Thursday.  We were both taking off work and attending the kiddos first juvenile court hearing. (Now, keep in mind that you are supposed to have a hearing within 72 hours of placement.....we have had the brothers for a month, and not one hearing.)  I email the case workers today for a time, and was told there was no court. :(  So, when was it rescheduled for?  Why was it moved? The answers to my questions are always "I don't know" "That is not covered under my job description"

I was absolutely fuming this afternoon.  One thing I NEED is the kiddos immunization records.  Schools are asking for them, our pediatrician is asking for them, and they are kinda good things to have.  I sarcastically want to say "I don't know" "That is not covered under my job description".  But you know what?? It is in my job description, because I am those kids ADVOCATE.  It is my job to fight for them.  It is my job to stand up for them.  Because they cannot stand for themselves.  They are to young and to little to fight.  And you know what....they shouldn't have to.

There is a battle that I myself am not capable of  fighting alone.  That is the spiritual battle that wages war around us everyday.  I needed an advocate.  I needed someone to stand in my place and fight because I am to small and to weak.  God sent that advocate in the human form when He sent Jesus.  Because He stood for me on the cross, I can have life eternal.  Because I stand for these kids, they will have the hope of a better life and they will grow up (at least while they are with us) knowing the Truth.  

Please join me in praying for the over worked case managers.  That they will not grow weary and let kids slip through the cracks.  Please pray that foster parents will have the strength to be their child(rens) advocate, even when everyone else is making it more difficult.