Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from the crazy and unseasonably warm south.  Little Sister keeps asking where the snow is and I have to agree.
Our crew had an absolutely amazing Christmas.  Starting with Christmas parties, an awesome Christmas Eve service at our church, and a Christmas morning filled with happy smiles. I LOVE Christmas morning.  I love to see the smiles, hear the giggles, and feel the hugs.  That is something our kids are really good at.  From new jammies to tablets, the kids were so thankful.  Big Brother even shed some tears exclaiming this was the best Christmas ever.
This is our second Christmas as a family of 6 and it is feeling so right.  Birth parents and families of origin hardly come up anymore.  This is their life right now and they are settling in.  Little Brother is getting used to his new meds and we are establishing a great routine with him which is helping with his behavior.  They are part of our family.  Little Sister keeps saying 'I love my flamily!'
I read something the other day on the juvenile courts webpage when I was trying to locate the panel review calendar.  It says "If the Panels are operating effectively, no child should be expected to grow up in foster care."  I would have to argue that there isn't much of the juvenile court system that is doing their job.  Our three kids ARE growing up in foster care.  While we pray we are getting close to the end, they (the kids) continue to grow and bond with us and their life here and there is still a possibility that they will leave.  They (the court) are still looking into other family members, one of which has never even met LS.  To me, keep in mind that I'm ONLY the foster mom, that seems to not be a good idea to remove them from a healthy bonded family to someone they don't even know!!
Recently, more and more people have been asking me about foster care and becoming foster parents. I have gotten the chance to share some of our journey.   I have grown more spiritual during this than I even thought possible.  But honestly, you HAVE to give it all to God.  You seriously have no control and our only comfort comes in knowing that God does and that our journey serves His bigger purpose.
As we look to the coming of a new year, we continue to pray that 2016 will be the year we can make this permanent and the kids will be Allens officially. :) We continue to pray for all foster children and the people God is leading into foster care.  It is a mission field, and you need to prepare your hearts to be changed forever.

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming....

Sometimes I envy Dori.  You know, the spunky little bluefish from Nemo?  Her general demeanor was one of peace and joy.  She lived moment to moment and there was nothing holding her back.  There are times I think living like that would be freeing.  You wouldn't have the bad memories, you wouldn't have anxiety because you wouldn't have any concern for what could be in the future.  You literally have a clean slate.
However, the down side to 'Dori syndrome' is that you have to through out the good with the bad.  So, even though you wouldn't have bad memories, you also wouldn't have any good ones.  So, like most philosophies we have to pick and choose what we take from it.  I think from Dori, we need to remember 'just keep swimming'.  That's what we are doing....we are just continuing to swim.
Recently I have had a few people ask me about foster care and becoming a foster parent.  I want to shake their hand and say "come ask me again in about a week or two, now is not a good time".  However, I also feel it is important to be honest.  You don't want anyone doing this for the wrong reason or while wearing their rose colored glasses.  So, I smile and say "I live my life paying and dealing with the consequences of someone else's actions and these consequences come in fits and rage from tiny little people."  As wrong as that sounds....it's the truth.  I have done nothing to harm theses children, but yet I am the one that gets to suffer through the trauma with them.
This past week our family went through something that I pray no one ever has to go through.  We are okay, everyone is okay, it was just a very trying circumstance.  In the big picture, I believe it will be a good thing.  It did shed some light on something from the kid's past we did not know about.  I'm glad we know now, but at the same time I wish I could forget it.  I wish they could forget it.  I wish like Dori, we could smile and 'just keep swimming'.
During this Christmas season, we are reminded of the birth of Jesus, God coming to earth as a baby.    He was 'adopted'.  Jesus had a foster father.  Joseph cared for and raised Jesus as his flesh and blood, even though He was so much more.  Jesus came to this earth to suffer consequences for actions he did not comment.  His focus, His vision, was something heavenly.  It was a God sized mission and a God size plan.  Jesus had to keep His focus on the 'bigger picture' and reason for why He came to earth.
I have to do that sometimes.  Okay....I have to do that a lot.  I have to remember and keep my eyes on the 'big picture'.  If I focus and let my eyes drift to every little problem, I drown.  If I stress every little stroke or wave that comes, I drown.  God's kingdom is the end.  Filling His kingdom with believers to worship along side is the goal.
God has a plan for my kids.  He has a plan for Tater and He has a plan for BB, LB, and LS.  His plan is mighty and His plan is big.  What we go through now is just a stepping stone, a building block, on our way to His destination for us.
So...keep swimming.  Even when the water is rocky, cold, and you feel alone.  Keep swimming.  Know that somewhere out there we are swimming too.  There are others swimming with us.  We might not see them or know they are there, but they are.  So...keep swimming. :)

"If you find yourself with a desire that no experience in this world can satisfy, then the most probable explanation is that you were made for another world."   C.S. Lewis

Exodus 15:3 "The LORD is a warrior; the LORD is his name."

Isaiah 42:13 "The LORD will march out like a champion, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cry and will triumph over his enemies."