In three days this crew loads up and heads off to the beach. Having the need to organize everything...I started packing us up early this week. Papa has loaded the big box on top of the family wagon, and we are gearing up to hit the road.
Tater, Papa, and I have GREAT memories of going to the beach. We've been going to the same beach for years. In fact, Papa and I both went to this beach as kids before we even knew each other. So, we have been happily talking, packing, and preparing to go to the beach.
Then we started noticing some things. LS was even more clingy than normal. She would absolutely scream if I left the room. BB actually broke out in a rash that his therapist said was a stress rash. BB would also end each night by telling us 'don't leave me, please don't leave me'. And well, LB's fits became more intense, frequent, and harder to predict. What was going on? I mean we were excited. Vacations are exciting. We were going to the beach! Oh wait..........
Rewind to a year ago. Our kiddos were on another trip to the beach. Although with different parents, and the result was not so fun and exciting. Much more sad and scary. Last time they were going to the beach they were left and then taken from the life they knew. Our memories and their memories of going to the beach are very different.
This called for a family meeting. We explained and talked about the trip down there, looked at pictures of where we were staying, counted to make sure everyone has a bed, and looked through the bags and suitcases Momma had packed making sure everyone has clothes and underwear. Then we made a paper chain to count down the days until we leave. And every night, we go through with LS who all is going to the beach.....'Papa beach, Momma beach, Tater beach, BB beach, LB beach, LS beach?' Yes....Papa beach, Momma beach, Tater beach, BB beach, LB beach, LS beach.
This has made me very aware that we all come with our own baggage. Some of our bags are full of happy memories, legacies, and fun times with family and friends. However, some bags are full of sadness, hurt, and abandonment packed for us by the very people who should have protected us from all of that. Papa and I are trying to repack the bags of our kiddos. This is not an easy task, but as we remove each hurt we try to replace it with a new reassurance that they are loved. We love them, and even more importantly, God loves them. And hopefully next week, we will repack that beach bag with some smiles, laughs, and great time spent with family.
