What's half a dozen??

Six....six is half a dozen.  Six is also double the size our family was just a few weeks ago. Six will also be our head count starting next Wednesday.  Big Brother and Little Brother's little sister will be coming to live with us as well.  She is 1, and the Brothers are soooo excited.  I think Tater is excited to add more girls to the house!!
As our number continues to grow, I think about what all has changed.  The best way to describe it is that our NORMAL has changed.  The very way we define things has changed.  How often does Webster update his dictionary?? I'm not sure.  But for me, there are a few definitions that have drastically changed.  Please see the list below:
Dinner - This used to be a time where the three of us sat around the table and talked about our day. Tater would study if need be and it was quiet and peaceful.  Dinner is now the three kiddos sitting and eating and Papa and I refilling, encouraging two little monkeys to stay in their seats, reviewing manners, and answering questions about what we would do next.  Papa and I eat later, or sometimes forget and just go to sleep instead.
Bedtime - We used to send Esther to bed at 7:00 to read for 20 minutes and then one of us would go in, read a Bible story, say prayers, give kisses, and then retreat to the living room with the other to watch TV.  Bedtime is now every man for himself!  Big Brother still struggles with nightmares and night terrors and needs quite a bit of chill time before he is ready to go to bed.  He and Papa lay on the couch and watch some calm cartoons.  Tater reads a book to Little Brother, we say prayers, and then Tater and I lay in his floor until he falls asleep. Once LB is asleep, Papa can bring BB in and sit with him until he falls asleep. Tater sometimes falls asleep in the floor, so she is then carried to bed in true princess style.  Sometimes I am still awake when Papa comes to bed, and sometimes I have already passed out.
A clean house......no scratch that.....let's just say a 'picked up' house - I have a basket or container for everything. Tater has lived with this system for seven years.  She understands that toys are grouped according to their kind and put away in this manner.  Well.....BB and LB understand the concept of cleaning up our toys...however, the Little People are chillin with the hot wheels who are mixed in with the dinosaurs who used to go in the basket in the living room but have now been relocated to the boys room.  My new policy is....off the floor so I don't twist my ankle.
Relaxing - My relaxing time used to be an episode of Bones enjoyed from my red recliner where I can see the birds eating out of the bird feeder in our front trees.  Relaxing is still in my red recliner, however I often have at least two children and one dog in my lap, Bones has been replaced with Handy Manny or Dragon Tales, and the birds think I've died.
It has taken two weeks to rework our definition of NORMAL. And guess what?? It will take two more weeks to make a new one once Little Sister comes. The coolest thing?? This Momma who does not like change, enjoys her order, and loves routine.....goes to sleep every night with a smile on her face.
There is no good reason I should be enjoying this insanity.  Not one.  It is hard, messy, loud, and sometimes down right horrible.  However, there are two little people who are learning to love again, learning to trust again, and learning what family can look like. More important, they are learning of the unconditional love that their Heavenly Father has for them.
The month of October holds many important dates: LS comes on the 1st, Bio mom and dad have their first court hearing on the 8th, and the first hearing for the kiddos is on the 23rd.  Please continue to pray for all involved. There are many people that are involved in making decisions for this kids, funny though.....I have never seen them at 9:00 when BB is showing no signs of sleep, or after dinner when LB is throwing himself on the ground in a full fledged tantrum. I pray that they seek God's wisdom and guidance.
Thank you all for your prayers and riding in this wacky wagon with us :)

And God laughs at my plans :)

Sooooooo THE CALL came Thursday night.  I saw the name of our family consultant(FC) come across the caller ID and my heart stopped. This was it! Papa had Tater at gymnastics, I was home alone and this was THE CALL.  I excitedly greeted our FC and listened as she gave the few details she had on our first placement.  We would be getting two children from a sibling group of six. The oldest was a five year old boy and the younger a two year old sister.  Papa and I had pictured was an older girl and younger boy, but this wasn't bad.  Bottom line, they needed love and we have it to give.  Because they were to arrive Thursday night, I jumped in the van and headed to Walmart for diapers.  I also began to make calls to let my school know I wouldn't be in to work the next day, and letting our friends know THE CALL had come.
Suddenly, as if you could audibly hear the screeching of brakes, our FC called again.  They were able to find a family member that would take all six siblings, so they didn't have to split them up.  (Which is good.) She also informed me that while one person was taking that call, another call came in for two brothers, ages five and four.  Would we be willing to take them??
Wow.....would we be willing to take them??  That was a very good question.  You see for almost 11 months we had been preparing for a baby and a toddler or two year old.  We had the crib, the car seats, the stroller where one could ride and one could sit, we had the high chair and booster in place.  We had toddler and 2ish toys placed throughout the house, and we were ready for that.  I had planned.  I had prepared.  I was ready.
Would we be willing to take them??  I am reminded of one of my favorite books, Forgotten God.  It is the book that provided the encouragement for me to leave public education (and the public education paycheck) in favor of ministry in Christian education.  In Forgotten God, Francis Chan writes of becoming so desperate for God that whatever follows could not have come from you, but from Him.  I'm a planner.  I know....I know....that comes as a shock to anyone who has read this blog. Change comes....and I plan.  I believe someone wiser than I once said 'as we plan, God laughs'.  Man do I believe that!
Would we be willing to take them?? YES!!! Not because we were ready, not because it was what we had 'wanted' or thought of, but because we are doing something we are called to do, and God called us to these boys.  So, yes, we took them.  I came out of Walmart, not with diapers, but with dinosaur sheets, boys underwear, and boy tooth brushes.  Papa called in the troops (i.e. friends from our church) that have boys and collected an amazing amount of little boy toys and clothes (and more underwear).  We put all of our plans in storage, and began preparing for what God has for us.
This morning began day two with Big Brother (BB) and Little Brother (LB).  They are crazy cute and snuggly.  They have learned manners somewhere along the road and gobbled up more dinosaur chicken nuggets last night than I have ever seen kids put away.  They slept soundly for 11 hours!!  This morning they are enjoying the park.  Last night BB prayed for dinner and thanked God for ketchup and a good day.
We won't know how long they will be with us until after the initial hearing sometime next week. But in the meantime, we are basking in the greatness of God's plan and joining Him in chuckling at the simplicity of ours.
I think I will always remember Friday, September 12, 2014 at 1:00 PM when God grew our family by four wild and wooly feet. :) (Just a side note....the bigger shoes actually belong to LB!)
 

That's Mrs. Giant to you.......

James Hudson Taylor is quoted as saying, "All God's giants have been weak men, who did great things for God because they reckoned on His being with them". How true is that???  Think about the 'greats' of the Bible listed in Hebrews 11.  They were by all accounts small and weak humans, however infused with faith....they became Super Heros!!!!
A few years ago, one of my students drew a picture of my flying through the sky with a cape and entitled it "Super Mrs. Allen".  I love that picture, and I have it hanging in my room even today.  Am I a super hero?? Not quite :) But with faith in God and His mightiness.....I CAN BE  super hero.
Saturday I attended a foster care training class as part of the 15 hours of 'continued ed' I need to have per year as a foster parent.  I sat in a room with smiling loving couples....several of them saying and rocking their foster baby who was cooing and adoring them.  This class was actually quite awesome and filled with a variety of 'tools' to keep in our 'belt' as we wait, except, and love our foster children.  It was such good information I prayed several times during it, "thank you Lord for not placing a child with us until I heard this."
One startling realization is that when a foster child begins to get comfortable and begins to trust, they also being to unpack their invisible suitcase and challenge their mental framework.  Even babies learn fast what a mommy and a daddy do.  In some cases, foster children have very negative thoughts or images of what a mommy and daddy does.  If, as a foster parent, you are doing things right....and your child begins to feel comfortable, they will begin to push you and try to make you conform to the image.  "Daddies hit,"  is their image of a daddy, so they will push and push and try to get you to fit that.  "Mommies leave," is their image of a mommy, so they will push and push and try to get you to fit that.  Our goal is to push back harder.  When they hit and bite, love them more.  When they yell and scream, hug them more.  When they cause all sorts of trouble, find places to praise them more.
Now, I'm an educator, and I teach small children.....so I can see where that is going to get old real fast.  Especially in my own home.  However, "All God's giants have been weak men, who did great things for God because they reckoned on His being with them".  I am simply a weak woman willing to be a giant for God, because I know He is with me.

Phillipians 1:8-10 -  8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. 9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.

James 2:12 - 12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom.

Thank you Lord for YOUR timing.  Thank you LORD for your strength.  Thank you LORD for having a plan. May our family be strong for YOU. Make us giants in YOUR eyes.

Well if the state of Georgia approves.........

As of Monday, the Allens are a state approved foster family. :)  In total, from beginning to end, this process has taken 10 months....so in my head, I am a month over due. :)  (I promise once we have added some Allens, this blog will stop being about me learning patience.....I will have other issues to ramble about, but for now patience is what it's all about.)
Since Monday I have lived with my cell phone.  While that may not be odd for some people, it is odd for me.  My phone ringer is rarely on, and usually when people call they have to leave a voice mail because I don't hear my phone, or it isn't even in the same room.  However, since Monday, my phone has not left my side and has not been turned off.  My heart jumps clear up into my brain every time one of the telemarketing numbers call.
So, other than blocking every 866 or 888 number, I have been meditating on the following scriptures:
Romans 8:18 "The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming."
Psalm 62:8 "Trust in Him at all times, pour your hearts out to Him, for God is our refuge."
Romans 12:12 " Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."
I have excepted that we may have a few more days, weeks of waiting.  I have excepted that God is in control, and quite honestly, I'm glad.  I'm overjoyed.  I'm elated that my God cares enough to choose the perfect child(ren) for us, and that He cares enough about these kiddos to choose the right foster home.
Father I praise you for YOUR promises, and I praise you for YOUR timing.  I thank you for having my family and my future family members in YOUR mighty hands.  I ask that you build a hedge of protection around our precious children that are out there.  I pray you spare them from as much pain and hurt as possible.  I pray that you watch over their parents as they struggle and Lord I pray this struggle ultimately brings them to YOU.  Lord, please calm my heart and untie the knots in my stomach.  I know you are in control and I pray that my physiology catches up to what my heart knows. I ask that you be beside those that make decisions regarding our kiddos and bring them into our home and arms in YOUR time. 
It is through YOU this process is possible, and through YOU I will remain patient and strong.
Amen
 

(Please hum the Jeopardy theme song now....)

                                                            

I often wish my life had a soundtrack.  Big speakers to follow me around would be nice too.  Then with every moment of my life there could be a moving ballad or some intense chords.  Well....if my life DID have a soundtrack, right now you would hear the theme song from Jeopardy.  You know...da da da da...da da daaa....da da da da dA da da da da daaaaa.
Papa and I have completed everything on our end.  All paperwork is in...house is more than ready, toys are cleaned, clean sheets adorn the bed and crib, a safety rail has been put on the twin bed to accommodate a younger sleeper, and a high chair has even been put into it's spot at our table.  However, an emptiness hangs over it all.  No one plays with the toys, no one ruffles the covers on the bed, no one pulls the musical toy in the crib, and no one has dropped spaghetti out of the high chair and onto the floor yet. (Much to the dogs' disappointment.)  So...the theme for right now is just waiting...twiddling our thumbs and waiting.
As previously blogged....I am not so good at the waiting.  I try to fill it with business and attempts at being prepared.  Things I've tried to occupy myself with......scouting out all consignment stores in the area for best deals, wandering around Babies R Us for no good reason, I had my hair colored red (yes, I am now a red head), I am reading every blog on foster care I can get my hands on, and I even invested in a book suggested by our agency on helping foster/adoptive children connect to their new families.  
One thing Tater and I have been doing is trying to decorate and find art pieces that are both gender and age neutral.  Do you know how difficult it is to create a fun space that is both gender and age neutral??  Most of the things I find that are gender neutral also look to baby-ish.  Some things that are age neutral aren't very gender neutral.  Well, one night at one of my favorite treasure troves I found two canvas pieces similar to the one above.  They are full of phrases that are simply instructions for kids.  (One even says 'eat cookies'!) While for most kiddos these simple things are part of everyday life, it is what they expect out of childhood, the kiddos that will inhabit this room might need to be reminded what kiddos do.
I even have to remind Tater every once in a while when Papa and I are talking, or we are preparing for something that it may be something she doesn't have to worry about.  We, as her parents, will take care of it.  The constant, "What's for dinner?" has turned into so much more for me.  While Tater is asking because she wants to pre-evaluate how much she will like it, or if it is worth requesting something different, a foster child may be asking because making sure the kiddos in their house had something to eat was their job.  Which is something a four and under shouldn't have to be worried about.  It should not be their responsibility to make sure they and younger bro or sis are fed.  However, sadly, this is a true picture of neglect for some of the kiddos out there.
I feel that is where I am as a Christian.  Struggling at my Father's feet between curiosity and the desire for control.  As a Christian, there are things I struggle with and worry over, that my Father looks upon me and says "I've got this...you don't have to worry about it.  I, your FATHER, will take care of it."  Don't we do this with the desires of our hearts??  If the answer or desire isn't coming quick enough, we start to squirm and grapple for control.  Check out Psalm 37.  I can picture David smiling as if he is trying to convince you of something.  He is excited and is trying to tell us how easy it can be when we give it all to God.  I specifically like verses 4 and 7.  Forgive me for splicing them together.  There is much goodness in the middle, however the two together speak to my heart.
4 - Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
7 - Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for Him
The Message says "Keep company with God" and "Quiet down before God".
So, while the theme to Jeopardy is running it's loop through my head, I am going to strive to keep company with my God.  I am going to spend time quieted before Him and focus on His plan and not my own.  Now, that doesn't mean I'm not going to continue to prepare because I know the flood of His blessing is coming and I want to be ready like Noah.  I want to live assured in my Faith and in my God and His great promises that I am preparing for His blessings.
Maybe like me, you need one of these simple reminders in your room of what a child of God should be doing.  I think if I had one it would read:
Spend time in MY creation
Breath in MY words to you
Talk to ME daily, more than once
Tell ME what you fear and what you desire
Enjoy MY people
Smile, for I am watching
and
Love...just love

How can I pray for 'that'?

This weekend, Papa and I completed our training.  It is a very exciting step to have behind us.  This means we are further than we were last November.  We are prayerfully only weeks away from our first placement.
Most of the training was a review for Papa and I.  Because of the jobs we have, we are area of issues with children from behavior to the extreme.  We are even aware of the abuse that some children face.  However, now we are not talking about just statistics and 'any kid', we are talking about OUR kid.  Our future baby that someone is mistreating, maybe as I type.
We saw a video at training that follows a foster child from removal, to placement in foster care.  It is a very eye opening video.  If you have not seen it, I encourage you to watch it now. (ReMoved video)  I was also scrolling through Facebook and someone had posted a link of a video of a man brutally punishing a little boy in front of two other children.  I don't understand this kind of monster.  I don't understand the monster in the ReMoved video.  They almost seem un-human...or in the least inhumane.
This is the 'that' I do not know how to pray for.  I believe this is going to be the ultimate struggle for me in this journey.  As Papa and I not only form a relationship with the new kiddo(s), we will also form a relationship with their family of origin, or biological family. I must decide now what kind of relationship that is going to be.  I believe it will set the stage for healing for the kiddo(s), and let's be honest....that is most important.
Is it going to be a relationship of judgement?  I can easily judge them for their past actions, their past mistakes.  However, I make mistakes everyday.  I can't see into the future, but I'm pretty sure I am going to make mistakes tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.  Would I do what these parents did, absolutely not.  I must remember, though, that when Jesus was hanging on the cross, I am sure my sin didn't weigh less on His shoulders then theirs did. They are hopelessly in need of a Savior, just like me.
Is it going to be a relationship of pity? Compassion and pity are VERY different emotions.  Pity implies that I am in someway better than they are.  I am somehow on a higher level than they are. Compassion has a hint of understanding.  Now, my understanding for them won't come because I've been in their shoes, but my understanding must come in love.  I understand that they are hurting, I understand the ONLY way to heal their hurt.  I understand that God loves and cares for them, just like me.
It must be a relationship of 'Carpe Aeternitatem'.  My principal sent this in a devotion once and I put it in my phone immediately.  I really like its meaning.  We have all heard 'Carpe Diem', or 'seize the day'.  Carpe Aeternitatem means 'to seize ETERNITY'. The relationships and focus of our foster care ministry cannot be on the here and now, or it won't be possible.  Our focus has to be on eternity and on Christ's commission to us. God tells us in Acts chapter 26 to start with those that are the closest to us.  How sad it was when the angels arrived in Sodom and Gomorrah to find that Lot hadn't even reached his own family with the good news, let alone his neighbors and his city.
So.....Carpe Aeternitatem! Seize eternity today for those you come in contact with.  Pray for your family and the families that you and your children come into contact with everyday, that your witness and your light may shine brighter than ever!!  

While I'm waiting........

Patience is not a virtue that I have been blessed with. I believe there are many types of patience.  I have patience with E (daughter), patience with kiddos in my class at school and at church, I have patience for Papa Allen, however WAITING PATIENCE is not something I have.
When I was pregnant with E, I dealt with the waiting in lots of different ways.  I read books about babies and raising children, I rearranged the nursery at least a dozen times, I reorganized her closet and clothes at least once a week, and I just tried to stay busy.
Well, as we wait for #2 and/or #3 I find myself in that same bind. I've read blogs about what to do while you wait for the call. PRAY is the biggest advice to fill the time.  Pray for you and your spouse.  Pray for the child(ren) that will be placed in your home. Pray for their families and parents.  Pray for the social workers and people that will be part of the 'team' you will work with.  I think this is really good advice because a strong prayer life is what is going to help get you through.  I feel it is also a way to form a bond with the biological parents before you even meet.  God can start working in their hearts even before your paths cross.
E and I recently visited family in IN and went to the Children's Museum up there.  (Which is FABULOUS by the way.)  They have a HUGE new exhibit on the Terracotta Army of Qin Shi Huang, the first Emperor of China.  This Terracotta Army was built to guard the tomb of Qin Shi Huang so that he was protected in the afterlife.  There were over 8,000 soldiers all of which had different faces carved into the terracotta clay.  Qin Shi Huang not only prepared his defense for the afterlife, but he also prepared to be entertained with an under ground stream and garden that held all different types of birds, also carved from the terracotta clay.  As we explored this exhibit, I was amazed at the extent of preparation Qin Shi Huang went to.  He began constructing his army when he was 13 years old.  Imagine preparing to die from the age of 13.
God tells us in a very familiar scripture in Philippians;  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
I imagine that the parents we are going to come in contact with are hurting.  I imagine they are going to be struggling with all sorts of 'demons', be they of this world or not.  Their hearts need guarding.  OUR hearts need guarding.  Just like Qin Shi Huang's terracotta clay, I believe prayer is what is going to hold us together through this next adventure.
So, I have taken the advice of the experienced foster bloggers out there, and I have began to pray.  Much more than I was previously doing and specifically for this situation.  I am even considering a prayer journal where I can record my petitions and see how God answers them through the next few months and beyond.  It's crazy to think that the kiddo(s) that we may be a safe haven for, may be out there right now.  I pray that God is putting people in their lives and in the lives of their family that guide them not only to us, but to Him.