I often wish my life had a soundtrack. Big speakers to follow me around would be nice too. Then with every moment of my life there could be a moving ballad or some intense chords. Well....if my life DID have a soundtrack, right now you would hear the theme song from Jeopardy. You know...da da da da...da da daaa....da da da da dA da da da da daaaaa.
Papa and I have completed everything on our end. All paperwork is in...house is more than ready, toys are cleaned, clean sheets adorn the bed and crib, a safety rail has been put on the twin bed to accommodate a younger sleeper, and a high chair has even been put into it's spot at our table. However, an emptiness hangs over it all. No one plays with the toys, no one ruffles the covers on the bed, no one pulls the musical toy in the crib, and no one has dropped spaghetti out of the high chair and onto the floor yet. (Much to the dogs' disappointment.) So...the theme for right now is just waiting...twiddling our thumbs and waiting.
As previously blogged....I am not so good at the waiting. I try to fill it with business and attempts at being prepared. Things I've tried to occupy myself with......scouting out all consignment stores in the area for best deals, wandering around Babies R Us for no good reason, I had my hair colored red (yes, I am now a red head), I am reading every blog on foster care I can get my hands on, and I even invested in a book suggested by our agency on helping foster/adoptive children connect to their new families.
One thing Tater and I have been doing is trying to decorate and find art pieces that are both gender and age neutral. Do you know how difficult it is to create a fun space that is both gender and age neutral?? Most of the things I find that are gender neutral also look to baby-ish. Some things that are age neutral aren't very gender neutral. Well, one night at one of my favorite treasure troves I found two canvas pieces similar to the one above. They are full of phrases that are simply instructions for kids. (One even says 'eat cookies'!) While for most kiddos these simple things are part of everyday life, it is what they expect out of childhood, the kiddos that will inhabit this room might need to be reminded what kiddos do.
I even have to remind Tater every once in a while when Papa and I are talking, or we are preparing for something that it may be something she doesn't have to worry about. We, as her parents, will take care of it. The constant, "What's for dinner?" has turned into so much more for me. While Tater is asking because she wants to pre-evaluate how much she will like it, or if it is worth requesting something different, a foster child may be asking because making sure the kiddos in their house had something to eat was their job. Which is something a four and under shouldn't have to be worried about. It should not be their responsibility to make sure they and younger bro or sis are fed. However, sadly, this is a true picture of neglect for some of the kiddos out there.
I feel that is where I am as a Christian. Struggling at my Father's feet between curiosity and the desire for control. As a Christian, there are things I struggle with and worry over, that my Father looks upon me and says "I've got this...you don't have to worry about it. I, your FATHER, will take care of it." Don't we do this with the desires of our hearts?? If the answer or desire isn't coming quick enough, we start to squirm and grapple for control. Check out Psalm 37. I can picture David smiling as if he is trying to convince you of something. He is excited and is trying to tell us how easy it can be when we give it all to God. I specifically like verses 4 and 7. Forgive me for splicing them together. There is much goodness in the middle, however the two together speak to my heart.
4 - Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
7 - Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for Him
The Message says "Keep company with God" and "Quiet down before God".
So, while the theme to Jeopardy is running it's loop through my head, I am going to strive to keep company with my God. I am going to spend time quieted before Him and focus on His plan and not my own. Now, that doesn't mean I'm not going to continue to prepare because I know the flood of His blessing is coming and I want to be ready like Noah. I want to live assured in my Faith and in my God and His great promises that I am preparing for His blessings.
Maybe like me, you need one of these simple reminders in your room of what a child of God should be doing. I think if I had one it would read:
Spend time in MY creation
Breath in MY words to you
Talk to ME daily, more than once
Tell ME what you fear and what you desire
Enjoy MY people
Smile, for I am watching
and
Love...just love
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